No Subject, Today 7:51

shooting adolescent Deceptions,

through fog years; exile items

self and other, character dreams

lifting, effervescent dew

sticking strung out, sunlighting

grass, only real feeling

beneath my feet — they’re

after me! They are

coming after me!

(where am I now?)

blackout mind lurking

lunging ‘round corners, raping Insults insinuations, pouncing

prodding in defense, immolation

pulse, punching eye purple shut

shadows behind, sins

catching on to me.

(where is my now?)

smothering and smoldering, vengeance

clawing back dead virtues

crushing, caving my chest, no one

nearby. last breath, sirens

and wrist-straps, a torrent

toward the end of agony

and wrath, delivering a loud

display on a gurney,

a dead man’s voice,

drawing the shutters — to trap

the light in the room, every 15 minutes

a flashlight takes notes, tight eyes

to sleep, vinyl mattress sweat

stuck to cheek, burning

my own lies electrocute

frenzied mind, hungry... I am with you

(Say nothing to no one

Haven’t you learned?)

think first what you are / call to mind

what you were — drawn images

Out of delusion, someone else’s still shots, someone you remember dying, there is no clock in these rooms, stepping

into the open, behind curtains

of guilt holds, someone I remember

being. (Where am I going?)

silent Purgatory, endless future

appetites dulled, dry mouthing

blunt desires, cloudy past transitioning skies come grey, far away, practicing forgiving to be forgiven, starting with the embers

of patience anew, fitting into

fresh skin, burning

broken chutes, the heaving

rollercoaster out the wall, trees

swing branches

stripped bare, every

winter friend, every

summer memory, every

spring family, every

string of thought, Fall. cutting

at a piece of nothing, you

don’t want to go to jail in Texas,

the nurses handful of pills, rainbow colored Diagnoses eaten alone, what time

of day it is echoing screams return nocturnal

questions, doctors writing notes,

peeling consciousness flips pages back,

earmarked favorites, prescribers

trips to Hawaii. No windows in these continuous walls. The only

(where I am going)

walk outside construction,

synaptic pruning, single

file, the Nothingness of

true connection, a chain link fence,

the infant moloch, I am with you...

flickers the shame and the pride, Imprisonment and power, the poet trapped in the poem, recognized

for what he is, does what he

shouldn’t, gets in the way, doesn’t

control himself. Tell no one. this

unheard humor, laughing

sail sound of soft water cackles

at the unseen shore, blue horizon miles, drowning moonlight, the Victorious right hand extending to itself, stark

empty stare of concrete night